Oct 20

Oct 20 My kids do not eat my allergens

If you would like to know more of Britt’s story, please go and read her Spotlight. She is an amazing mother who has food allergies, but her husband and children do not. After reading her story and getting to know Britt some more, I wanted to dive a little deeper. I wanted to know what comes after. Raising children is hard enough, but when you have allergies it must be daunting. I worry, who will feed my children my allergens, so that they can have a balanced diet and have no food fear? What if they came home from somewhere and I gave them a kiss, but they had my allergen? I asked Britt some questions to see how she handles it and how life is as an allergy adult, with a family.

“Live more and find adventure”

How to manage your allergies whilst being a family?

My family wants me to be included, they always want me to feel comfortable - it’s not an issue. When my husband travels or won’t see me for a couple of days he’ll go to places, that he can’t go to when I am with him. My 5 year old asks me to go to Chick-Fil-A all the time but I think it’s just because we’ve made it a point not to go. That’s the thing with kids, if I didn’t make it serious, it wouldn’t be a big deal for them. The 5 year old is a jokester already, he talks about going to Chick-Fil-A, just to joke. Sometimes his jokes can go too far and we have to talk to him about bullying, but he’s never trying to be mean. It’s a line he has to learn, and we try to make him understand, the best a 5 year old can, about how that might make someone with food allergies feel.

How is your life different to what you thought it would be, when you got diagnosed?

As I have got older I feel it has helped me open my eyes to how and what I really eat. I try to approach it now from a place of health rather than from a place of restriction. I have since developed some sensitivities as I've grown, and my allergies seem to fluctuate in severity as my lifestyle changes

Did you ever have an allergic reaction whilst pregnant? what happened?

I did! It was a mild reaction, I took Benadryl and was able to manage it. I know this may not be the case for everyone, but it’s best to avoid risk that might cause an allergic reaction, as much as you can. I didn’t try too many new things or really venture outside of my comfort zone, when I was pregnant.

Were you scared/are you scared that your kids will have allergies?

I would say, I was prepared to identify if my kids did have allergies. Meaning, when I gave them new foods I did so one at a time. I watched for new rashes or upset stomachs. Raising children with food allergies wasn’t the scary part for me; it was how others may treat them or the things they may have to miss out on that would worry me - depending on the severity of their allergies. I knew how to accommodate my world if they did have allergies.

Have you told your kids about your allergies, or the severity?

My 5 year old understands. He knows where my medicine is and what it looks like. My 3 year old will ask me sometimes, “Does that have peanuts in it?” They haven’t seen me have a severe reaction; just one where I had to take Benadryl.

Do your kids eat your allergens?

My kids do not eat my allergens. As a parent you share almost everything with your kids. They want a bite of your food, a sip of your drink, or they accidentally sneeze on you. They also touch anything and everything goes into their mouths. There are too many opportunities for cross contact if I introduce my allergens to them.

You live in a camper van, how is that? how is that when managing your allergies?

We just bought a Log Home to live in and the van will be more weekend adventures. We lived in the van for almost a month, when we were moving from California to Virginia. I love having the van for the weekend. It takes controlling your environment to the next level. We have a sink with water, a toilet, shower and everything you would need except A/C and heat.

Has the way you manage your allergies changed as you got older?

Yes, after having kids I tend to avoid new things. I make sure I have backup auto-injector if I’m going to a place where my risk might be higher; a baseball game or new restaurant. If I am going to a new restaurant I try to read the menu ahead of time and call ahead; that way I am not managing too much - I also try and get the kids to behave at the restaurant.

Do you have allergy anxiety now?

I had a lot more anxiety for a few years in my teens where I had to go to therapy. I do still have anxiety but it is because my responsibilities have changed. I have to be aware of the kids whilst managing my allergies. We want to stay adventurous but also safe. My husband and I have open communication about situations where I do not feel comfortable and where I need help. The situations that cause me the most anxiety are parties, gatherings, where I meet new people or when I have to take my kids somewhere new by myself. I think that just comes from not knowing what to expect, and I feel unprepared. Did I mention flying! Literally, I try to avoid flying as much as I can now. When I was younger I didn’t mind as much; my uncle who worked at the airport made it fun. I’m glad to be closer to family now, to be able to drive and not have to fly home with the kids. Flying is manageable but there is nothing like stepping off the plane and getting that breath of fresh air! Plus, we don’t mind driving, especially in the van.

Do you have any advice for allergy reactors hoping to start a family? get pregnant?

Life can be what you make it. It’s all determined by your outlook on your situation. I know there can be seasons where you are down and ill, but there will always be a time where you blossom. Have patience and give yourself grace. Know you are capable of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to experience new things, be prepared and you’ll get through it. I’ve always found great wonder and growth on the other side of the uncomfortable. For me, when I start to feel vulnerable, I pull back; having that balance of being uncomfortable and not feeling vulnerable has guided me to do whatever I want to.

What have you learned as a parent with allergies?

I’ve learned patience, awareness, and to seek wonder. I have also learned the importance of teaching kindness to children, which could seem like something second nature. Truly teaching them to be kind to others and that we shouldn’t make fun of anyone, because everyone has something that is unique to them, is something to be practiced. I am here trying to raise kind and wondrous humans.