I have been eating out with allergies for 25+ years. Whilst it is actually easier nowadays than it was when I was a child/teen, it is certainly not simple and there are still many challeneges. I have had some horror stories as a child from being physically removed from a restaurant to a waiter refusing to let my mum talk to the chef about their oil the fries were cooked in - and much more inbetween. However, what I really try to remember is how many amazing expereinces I have had throguht my life. It is easy to only focus on the bad experiences and live a life of quiet desperation, never wanting to eat out again, but that is not a life, and that allows ‘them’ to win.

A couple of weeks ago I went out to a restaurant for the first time since March 2020. There were many things that were going through my mind before hand. I have seen alot of places refusing to cater for allergies during lockdown - there was this fear of new covid restrictions, in kitchens, that allergies were moved to the back burner or just off the hob entirely. Even now restaurants are placing signs with refusal of allergy reactors even entering their premisies!

With all of that, I refuse to let fear deter me from enjoying a meal out, but how do I push through that fear and eat out anyway? I am going to tell you and hopefully my advice can help you too.

For my first trip I went to my favourite place - Cote - I have been going to Cote since I was 18years old. It was a place that all of my friends could go and enjoy food, whatever their diets were. It is a french resturant, which for me is perfect for my allergens. I grew up in the french speaking part of switzerland, and I have grown up eating french food since I was 7. It is a lot of bread and butter - not the easiest for people avoiding gluten and dairy but for me it is simple & safe. I have been to their restaurants all over London, Cambridge, Manchester and much more. My local is in Ealing, London. The manager knows me from my allergen card and I can have a starter, main course and dessert there.
On this occasion, I went with my mum, brother and his girlfriend. I trust my mum completely- She told people about my allergies before I could even speak. I feel safe to eat with her because if I have a reaction she knows what to do, she’s done it before.

We picked a time in the day where we thought it would be less busy, I picked a meal I had eaten many times before, I called ahead, I spoke to the manager and anytime I wanted something else, I told them about my allergies again- to anyone who took our order. I reminded them about cross contamination, and showed them my allergen card. This time the chef wrote down my card on his own piece of paper, and it was inputted into the ipad they were using —they were aware at every step.

Once we were leaving I thanked everyone who helped - for me showing gratitude helps me think that they will be nicer to the next person who goes in with allergies and advocate to any staff that isn’t kind. I had a great expereince for my first time eating out since the pandemic started and it has upped my confidence for further experiences.

8 tips to help you go out to eat

1. Pick a safe place

   Safe can mean different things to different people. For me safe is a place I feel heard when I tell them about my allergies, not a place that rolls their eyes, comments on my list or tells me it’s my own risk… everyone feels safe in different places but remember that your safety and comfortablity is first and foremost (and you can leave at any point, if you don’t feel safe)

2. Eat with trustworthy people

   Going out to eat is nerve racking enough without the added pressure to fit in, so for your first time eating out, or if you are feeling nervous, go with people who you feel comfortable talking about your allergies too, and someone that you trust will have your back if something happens that wasn’t to plan.

3. Book at the right time for you

   kitchens get busy, and when kitchens are busy mistakes can happen. If you are able too, make a reservation or go at times to avoid the ‘rush’- times where most people won’t be going! That way they can prepare your meal safely. If that’s not possible, remind your server that you don’t mind waiting for your food, as long as the chef is careful.

4. Choose your meals ahead of time

   Choose your meal (starters, mains, and desserts) a head of time. Feeling confident about your choice will relieve some of the pressure from the experience. Research is always a great move. It’s also important for the next step.

5. Call the restuarant

   Call the restaurant a day ahead of the reservation (if not possible try and go in/call 30mins before you want to eat so they are prepared. Tell them you have allergies and what you want to eat. That way they are prepared and may put it aside for you.

6. Take your card

   On the day take an allergy card. This is ESPECIALLY important if you have multiple allergies like me. It is easy to forget, especially if they are off of the top14. Tell them that the chef can keep the card until you have finished with all of your meals. It also helps if you’re card has information about cross contamination on it (see below)

7. Use an allergy card

   There are countless times that the staff have been so grateful for me that I used an allergy card. Whether you have one allergy/food restriction or multiple, having an allergy card is there to bridge the gap between you and the chef. There is no miscommunitcation or spelling errors when you have an allergy card. You can now print them in different languages which allows me to feel safer when traveling to different countries that there is a langage barrier as well as at home in the UK. We cant expect that everyone will understand our language having multiple langages for your allergens as possible will help in the misunderstanding of it all. I get my card from Equal Eats. Equal eats’ mission “To empower people living with dietary restrictions to enjoy food everywhere by providing an accurate, accessible, and seamless technology solution to help communicate their dietary restrictions effectively, accurately, and conveniently - wherever their life takes them.”

8. Say thank you

   Make the staff aware of your experience, good or bad. If you have had a lovely time, felt safe and enjoyed delicious food- tell them. Servers are more inclined to provide that service again when they feel appreciated. On the other hand, if you haven’t had a good experience they need to know as well, so it doesn’t happen again. There are so many people (without allergies) who complain all of the time. You would be doing a disservice to other people managing allergies if you didn’t hold staff and the establishments responsible for their behaviour. You do not need to be rude or angry just honest.

9. Rinse and repeat

   Tell anyone and everyone at any step of the way about your allergies. Do not feel annoying or a pest. It is important. Staff are busy remembering a lot of orders, by reminding them you are making yourself more calm and they can reassure you at every stage of the experience. Don’t leave it to chance or think they will remember. This is your life, your meal your, your allergies- not theirs.

I hope that these tips prove useful, and a starting off point for you to feel more comfortable with eating out again.

I also want to make one more MASSIVE point. You by no means have to eat out- you don’t have to eat out to be social, enjoy time with friends/family. But if you do want to, I hope these tips will aid in pushing through some fears.

please let me know how this blog made you feel and any experiences you have had whilst eating out pre or post lockdown.

and thank you to Anya and Aneska for making me feel so safe and full at Cote Ealing! You made one fearful girl happy again.