Behind the Allergy

View Original

May contain...Male.

Where are all the men in the allergy community?

I was raised by a single mum, who started her career in nuclear physics, which was a male-dominated space back then (and still is). When I was growing up, I was taught, growing up, to be sure of myself wherever I am and whoever I was speaking to. Feminism is not what society claims it to be for me. It is not: women-only spaces or the hatred of men; it is the desire that we should all be equal, that we all are given an equal voice and choice. Over the years I have found Instagram to be a female-dominated space, which is a welcome relief sometimes, as the women are supporting and empowering others. As I have been speaking to a lot more people in this community, I am seeing that there seem to be fewer men. This surprised me, but also confused me. Are men less likely to have an allergy? Is it in our chromosomes?

I know that Instagram is not the real world, but it is my allergy world, and I want to hear more stories from different people. I love female empowerment and women supporting each other, rather than feeling like there's not enough room at the top (which a lot of our messaging has been saying for years), but there are other experiences and other stories that should have equal weight.

It first hit me when I was doing the ‘allergy mothers through the years’ post, and my mother said, '“what about allergy dads?” I stopped, thought “you know it never even crossed my mind'“. I just wanted to support the mums out there, like mine. I didn't have an “allergy” dad, and I see their absence on social media as well. But they are there, allergy reactors are men too, and they should have an equal voice on my blog as well, I just wish there were more of them.

I have since been speaking to other women in this community, and they have expressed the same concerns I have. They were confused, as well, with the lack of allergy males in this community, and some mothers would like more of the male advocates for their sons to look up to. I decided to reach out to some of the men in this community that I follow and think they are doing amazing work. I also reached out to a woman who showcases males on her feed, especially during “male mental awareness week” to see what she had to say about the subject. I hope you enjoy this, and you will reach out to other allergy males and try to get them to use their voice in this wonderful online community.


Daniel Kelly

To start I wanted to feature the first an allergy male who I found on Instagram. I want to showcase his platform, where he sees it going and how he manages it all. Dan is extremely passionate about breaking the stigma surrounding allergies. He is an ambassador for the Anaphylaxis Campaign, he runs his own podcast and YouTube channel, plus does a lot of live events, speaking to restaurants about allergies and is a voice for younger allergy reactors. Read my review on his podcast HERE.

‘When I started May Contain it was aimed at young people living with allergies, as young people are more at risk of having anaphylaxis shock as they take on that responsibility and sometimes they don't always speak up about their allergy. I want to use my platform to empower them to speak up about their allergy. 

May Contain started because I couldn't find anyone my age talking about it online, I kind of just did my own thing and shared my experiences from a young person perspective, on growing up and the different challenges I faced with my allergy. However, over the last few years, it's been incredible to see so many young allergy advocates, using their voice and sharing their experiences - which is amazing!

Behind the scenes I've always worked closely with the Anaphylaxis Campaign, it was an amazing feeling to become one of the Youth Ambassadors for the charity. I was planning on attending a summer camp this year to work with young children and teenagers who live with severe allergies. Due to COVID, this has been put on hold. Hopefully, it will go ahead next year, once things get back to normal.

I also do talks around the UK to educate people on the severity of allergies, both for the charity and for different allergy events/organisations. I’m also in talks with a few different Universities to help them educate the students about allergies and empower the students to speak up about it. 

Ever since I was young, I’ve always felt confident to speak up about my allergy. I think this was down to my parents making me feel comfortable. I’ve always felt people without allergies are interested to find out more about my allergy, when I speak about it. 

May Contain has grown a lot since the start and it is great to see parents engaging and reaching out to me, to ask about their child with an allergy. My main aim is to make allergies more relatable and create content that empowers people. 

From a personal point of view, I look up to Joe Wicks and how he transformed how people workout, making people want to get fit and healthy in a fun and engaging way. Joe has spoken a lot online about his struggles at the beginning to be seen and heard, but over time he has built up a massive audience and changed millions of people's lives by being consistent and believing in his vision. 

May Contain has taken me on many incredible journeys; from talking to Cambridge University to becoming the first Youth Ambassador for the Anaphylaxis Campaign. What I’m most proud of is, when someone reaches out to me to tell me that they found ‘May Contain’ and now feel less alone and more empowered to speak up about their allergies. These messages I receive are what makes it all worthwhile. I honestly feel like I’m still at the start of my journey, not only do I want to educate and empower people with allergies but, I want to use my platform to inspire younger people too. Anyone can make their mark on the world.’ 

DAN

Instagram @_maycontain

Website May contain blog

Podcast May Contain

Youtube May Contain Channel


I really want to see what other people found with the disparities of gender in our online community and whether or not they do seek a lack in allergy males on Instagram and even the real world; and why that is the case. Most of this panel hadn’t thought about it much, like I hadn't, before I posed these questions to them, but their replies are really interesting, and I was surprised by what I had learned!

I also did a question to my Instagram followers about what allergy advocates they follow and I was met with:

“Ummm are there any?”

“…”

“Dan- May contain”

And some of my panellists were mentioned. I was saddened by this but also it spurred me to release this blog. It isn’t just that we need more male advocates but I believe the allergy males need more people to look up to! There are frightening studies about males not carrying their auto-injector or taking more risks than their female counterparts, and I have seen this first hand. If we have more males modelling safe procedures but showing that they have a thriving life, then I believe those numbers will go down!

But let’s see what the panel has to say about it…

Do you think there is a divide in allergy representation between females and males? Why or why not?

Kyle: I think there is certainly a public-facing divide in terms of who speaks on behalf of those with food allergy. It is rare to find educational resources like blogs that are written by men. However, within an everyday home setting, I know of many food allergy dads who fully share the responsibility of food allergy management. From previous food allergy conferences that I’ve attended, there are more females, but also a good representation of males.

Joey: There are probably more women than men sharing their stories online.

Nicole: As advocates, we have the shared goal of spreading awareness for food allergies as well as sharing our experiences of living with and/or caring for someone with food allergies with the world in order to raise compassion, knowledge, and safety for the food allergy community. Whichever gender, race, sexuality, age, or religion that an allergy advocate identifies with, we all bring unique life experiences to the community and stand by one another in the common fight that is food allergy awareness. This is such a beautiful and overwhelming idea to stop and think about.

Javier: In some regards, I believe that the perceived divide is rooted in - speaking for myself- men not being consistently willing to share their health journeys publicly. 

When talking to allergy reactors and people in the industry, do you find that there are fewer males?

Nicole: When it comes to the food allergy industry leaders, I have noticed a pretty even balance, i.e. legislative positions, educators, medical professionals, creatives, non-profits, and food companies, the industry seems to be quite even and representative of males and females.

Kyle: Not necessarily, I do a lot of work with teenagers with food allergy through Food Allergy Canada. We have a real even divide between genders on our Youth Advisory Panel. As time goes on, kids will start to make their voices heard, control more of the narrative, and further change for travel, dining, school and workplaces. I think the online representation will start shifting from caregivers to individuals who have the condition, and perhaps that will have an impact on representation.

Thomas: Yes, I think the food-allergy communities are less represented by men. I 'd' like to see more representation from men defiantly.

Do you think that gender stereotypes play a factor in this?

Joey: I think a lot of it has to do with the number of parents - specifically, allergy moms - that are active online. I think that might be what tips the balance more than anything else.

Thomas: I don’t think that it is a stereotype or gender factor, but more of a feeling of being cumbersome of what people may think of them because they have food allergies. So not many will not carry their auto-injector to avoid disclosing their food allergies, but this can leave them at risk. In young children, having food allergies can sometimes leave them in heavy fear, the anxiety of the possibility of getting bullied or looked at differently “Not fitting in” if they were to expose themself to having food allergies again, this can leave a child at risk.

Kyle: Whatever the gender, I think areas like vulnerability, confidence, peer support, and self-acceptance play a role in allergy management. I don’t believe there is a black and white way to manage food allergy beyond the essentials (e.g. always have your epinephrine with you). Some are more private and that’s okay as long as they’re staying safe.

Nicole: From the males I know and have conversations with, I have noticed that those who have food allergies, do not talk about them as openly to their friends or potential love interests. They want to feel as “normal as possible” and avoid an awkward social conversation. I also noticed that there was more of a focus on being as discreet as possible about their food allergy and removing themselves from social gatherings rather than explain to others that the reason they are removing themselves is because of their food allergy.

There are some studies that show that allergies are more common in males than females. Do you think that the community represents that? 

Nicole: Food allergies are a newer medical condition when compared to others. I think there is a need for much more research on these kinds of topics. Collecting specific data on if males or females have higher chances of having a food allergy would be fascinating to look into. I have read the article, Gender effects in allergology - Secondary publications and update which reviewed the current evidence of gender effects in food allergy and food intolerance. The article also stated that more females develop severe anaphylactic reactions with a correlation to consuming berries and fruits as well as engaging in physical exercise. I would love to see more studies related to male and female sex hormones in relation to food allergies in the future.

 Another interesting and potentially controversial point this article made is that women were recorded to follow strict avoidance of their food allergy more than men.

Javier: We (men) need to share more.

Kyle: From what I have seen in research, the difference is marginal. After performing in 900 schools across North America and meeting thousands of children with a food allergy, I’ve never noticed a divide skewing from 50 to 50.

Thomas: Research studies show that women are more susceptible to food allergies than men. The study expresses that a woman's physiological system could have caused this to happen. Research also shows that the statical data may also reflect that a woman is more sedulous in taking care of her body and seeing a general practitioner or allergist. I don’t think the community represent that. Although we see predominately a female presence, I believe it an equal balance amongst men and women.

How has being a male in the allergy world impacted you? Do see being male as an advantage because there are fewer of you heading up the conversation? 

Javier: There's an increased interest in hearing from diverse voices. Our community has provided me and Alerje with many opportunities to share our story.

Kyle: At times I’ve felt that it has been easier to make my voice heard publicly because there aren’t so many competing male voices. It’s impacted me in wanting to get more males involved in public-facing narratives by actively seeking them out. I have worked on food allergy resources with a diverse team of ages, genders and experiences. I have an “A-Team” behind Equal Eats where all ideas are debated as a community of equal males and females. The result is more representative dietary safety products for our entire community.

Thomas: I don’t think being a male has anything to do with having an advantage. what I do believe if you’re knowledgeable on topics discussing food allergies, disparities, public health issues and advocacy, and policymaking, people will listen.  I’ve learned a lot from my wife and many other powerful females in the food allergy community.

Nicole (on females): Food allergies affect all genders, we should be striving to have representation for everyone in the food allergy advocacy space. It has been heartwarming to experience the empowerment, love, and support that is so generously shared among us female advocates. I genuinely love to lift other advocates up and do so without quid pro quo intentions. No two food allergy advocates have identical experiences. This makes supporting every advocate in our community valuable and intriguing.

Do you see a lack of representation of allergy dads in this community? Do you wish it was different?

Thomas: I do see a lack of representation from fathers but, I don’t believe it's because they don’t want to be there. The fathers are there supporting their spouse, friends, and family members who either have food allergies or their child has food allergies. I wish it was different. I would be able to have more fathers to talk with, especially when it involves our children with allergies/asthma. 

Kyle: Yes online, but not necessarily in person. I see allergy dads at events, conferences and charity walks. They might have a different role, but they are present. Yes. A food allergy diagnosis is a big deal. It’s a lot to process, and then a huge learning curve ahead. I encourage all partners to take every step together without leaving the other behind. Empowerment at the very beginning is crucial.

Javier: We need more dads, or men living with the condition; we all have an opportunity to improve in this area. This could encourage young males and teens to be more vocal, like J.J. Vulopas.

Any other thoughts?

Joey: I never really paid attention to the ratio. I always focus on just making strong connections and go from there.

Kyle: As of the surge in prevalence in the ’90s and 2000s, we are embarking on a new landscape where there will be more people with food allergy joining the conversation, the advocacy efforts, industry, and more. They will be more representative of both genders than ever before. An incredible foundation has been laid, and I celebrate young advocates who have the time, the spirit and the first-hand experiences to drive allergy safety to another level. As a community, we need to embrace them, guide them, and cheer them on!

Thomas: Spokin Inc, a food allergy resource app, did a feature on food allergy dads last year. It was such an amazing article for fathers to be represented in the food allergy space. I would love to see more outlets highlighting fathers who also go the extra mile for their child who has food allergies. 

Nicole: I think that no matter who you are, at some point in the journey of being a food allergy advocate, there will be moments where one experiences negativity. Perhaps, there will be times when someone doubts if the work they are doing is even making a difference. Perhaps, there will be times when one questions their place in the community or how they can best support those reaching out to them for help. The pressure of always creating impactful and inspirational content that will benefit the communities we serve may become overwhelming. There will always be something that leads an advocate to question their position in this space. However, when these feelings arise, it is important to realize that a person is inspirational for just being their authentic self. It is important to remember that by simply sharing your experiences and how you have grown through them, you are helping someone feel less alone in their journey with food allergies.

Javier: I think that over the past few years it's gotten much better.

Joey

@jd3_at / @assuretechllc / EpiCenter app & blog (Code ‘TABLE30’ will get you discounts on their shop and EpiPen case)

Thomas

@elijahsecho / Elijaha Lavi Foundation

Nicole

@nutritionallynicole / NNTV / Nutritionally Nicole RDN

Javier

@alerje_ / Alerje app

Kyle

@kyledinemusic / @equal_eats / Equal Eats / Kyle Dine

Other Males, I have found on the online space during my research - Please let me know some others to share their stories and join us on The Allergy Table

There are a lot of males in the gluten-free/coeliac space, as well! Check them out and give them a follow.

Closing thoughts from The Allergy Table:

Thank you to all the panellists and Dan for taking the time out of their busy schedules to share some insights with me and explore the disparities I have seen in this online allergy community. The panel has raised so many interesting points, things I haven’t even considered. This is exactly why I am trying to advocate for allergies in the real world more. I believe that that is where we will truly understand everybody’s experiences with managing food allergies. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of men advocating in the online spaces, so when men need a place or a person to confide in and look up to, it can prove to be more difficult. I will do my best now to share the person (male and female) behind the allergy. I want to share everybody’s experiences and have a platform that anybody can go and see themselves.

Please if you know anyone that is a male allergy reactor or has a male child, share this with them. Everybody handles things differently but there still should be a safe space for everyone. Some allergy reactors don’t want to talk about it with friends/family, so being able to read stories and see how others are managing can help them out immensely.

IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT RESONATED WITH YOU IN THIS POST OR ON THE BLOG PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT, LIKE THE PAGE AND/OR SHARE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE. THANK YOU, FOR READING!

IF YOU ARE A NEW ALLERGY REACTOR OR PARENT, PLEASE REACH OUT TO ANY OF THE ALLERGY PANELLIST IN THIS POST, THAT HAVE RESONATED WITH YOU! THEY ARE INCREDIBLY LOVELY AND WILL GIVE YOU THE TIME TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE.